I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

We’ll not really, but I did land on a sunny bench in Central Park after work and I cannot manage to peel myself off of it. This feels so good, almost as good as the beach.

In the ten minutes that I’ve been sitting here:

-A woman who is collecting bottles and cans from the trash can across from me removed the cup full of ice water that I tossed in several minutes ago and cleaned her hands with it. By the way, she is not homeless. Some people in these parts hoard the bottles and cans for extra cash, I guess.

-A creepy, 6-foot-something twiggy guy with long long hair who is dressed as a clown was making a bunch of little kids laugh and crowd around (nannies with strollers close behind, all chatting together and looking on). As soon as the little kids left, the clown wasn’t really drawing a crowd….until a large Hispanic family passed. Unfortunately one of the little boys shouted “booooooooooooooooo” and threw a piece of garbage. BOO TO YOU, YA LITTLE STINKER.


I’m now on a train home, as I had to ditch Central Park because once again, random strangers were approaching me left and right, wanting to be my new best friend. If I’m sitting there with my face in my phone typing this blog post, do I really look like I want to talk?

…I must look really cute today. Or maybe it was just the one remaining beam of sunlight that I was stationed under that was making me look so dreamy and magical.

Yesterday I decided to walk another way after work, which I’ve been trying to do more of lately. I walked up Fifth Avenue towards Central Park (instead of down towards Rock Center) and once I hit the park, I hooked a right on 63rd and made my way through the worlds most amazing neighborhood towards Park Ave.

But before I even got to Madison, I noticed two paparazzi sprinting after three tall skinny blonde girls who I knew couldn’t be from here- their heels were way too high. I was close enough behind them to make the executive decision to trail behind/stalk them.

I thought, Real Housewives of NYC? And I kept following, the three of them walking ahead of me, camera men back-pedaling in front of them and filming.

Pretty soon we all ended up in a big clump around the patio tables at Tello (Italian place on Madison). Before I could really catch a glimpse of the girls’ faces, BOOM Mickey Rourke stood up from the table that we were by then almost on top of.

Basically, going a different way is almost always the best way.

Peace, homiez.

^you think that lady knew she had an orange peel stuck to her shoe? I think surely yes.

^by the way that’s mickey rourke


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